What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
