I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
