We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My ass is underappreciated
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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