So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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