I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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