Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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