Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
COCAINE IS GR8
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
