sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
