I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
