And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
