I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
you had me at cake vodka
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
