I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
