It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
