She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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