My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
