That's when you crack a 10am beer
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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