I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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