My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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