Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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