Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
