Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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