We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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