Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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