i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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