We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
