Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
