It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
