I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
