there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
