Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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