Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize