I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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