The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
