Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
