so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
