the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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