Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
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