How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
