i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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