Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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