the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
