jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
