I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I had to cum in my sink.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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