so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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