you have to choose: penises or morals?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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