What a fucking waste of an outfit
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
