well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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