Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She announced her abortion via fbk
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
