If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
