"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
