I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
