I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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