Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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