Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
