she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm passing your future prison.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Randomize
