I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
