i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
