okay pat passed out under dana's car
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
