PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Dicks are not precious.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
