apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You were trust falling into bushes
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
