i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
