he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
