I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
