i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize
