just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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