I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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