That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Welp...herpes.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
