i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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