we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I skipped work to stalk him.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
