so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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