put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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