idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
