You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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