So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
