She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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