thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
did you just send me my own nude
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
